F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems
byMichael Bennett
F Feelings is a blunt and direct kind of book as the title implies. It aims to knock you out of overblown wishful thinking and help you better manage expectations, accept limitations and get a better grip on the things within your control. The book had a Pop Personal Development vibe aimed at those early in their development and whose lives feel chaotic. This was a difficult book to read through as it was too formulaic and seems to be for people that have a slower reading pace and need to be guided along.The formula for the book was listing a problem, then saying F a seemingly positive duty, feeling or expected action. - Background giving a perspective counter to a positive feeling, duty or action and how much of your problems come from this area.- Tools you wish you had to solve the problem but don't have.- Three examples of the problem.- Quick diagnosis which includes what you wish for and can't always have, what you can actually aim for and achieve, and how to do it.- The script that you tell yourself to which leads to false beliefs and distracts you from addressing the root of the problem.- Overview of the stages of the problemRinse and repeat for every chapter. A part of me felt it was intentional to get the reader to put the book down and work on a problem, which is good. But if you don't have problems in that area you have to be more surgical with your reading approach with this book.
Motivations to Read
In my own personal growth journey, I've realized how a number of my downturns have been from a lack of emotional maturity as opposed to purely logical errors. Often times these emotions would blind me from reality and make it hard to accept and move on from things. In addition, being too sensitive turned into taking things too personally that shouldn't have been.
3 Reasons to Read
- A self-help book for those who find themselves overly emotional.
- Learn how to be more realistic and less worried about problems that are not your own.
- Cultivate personal responsibility for the things within your control.
Notable Quotes
“You should never hold yourself accountable for results you don't control, but always for the strength of trying.” Michael Bennett
“Before allowing yourself to take responsibility for other people's painful feelings, ask yourself whether there's something you can do that will actually help, that you can afford to do (given your other commitments), and that isn't better done by someone else (including the person you're trying to help).” Michael Bennett
“Life never guarantees you a square deal, but you can be a good, realistic dealer in an unfairly chaotic marketplace if you assume that no one necessarily sees things the way you do, no matter how obvious the truth appears, and that getting what you deserve is a lucky event, not a right. You” Michael Bennett
