# Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

[View on juvoni.com](https://juvoni.com/book/mistakes-were-made-but-not-by-me-why-we-justify-foolish-beliefs-bad-decisions-and-hurtful-acts)

Book author: Carol Tavris

Review and notes by Juvoni Beckford.

Rating: 7.5/10

Posted: 2026-03-02T04:31:13.517Z

Read: 2014-01-16

## Review

Tavris explains how Cognitive dissonance and Confirmation bias are at the root of people's hesitation and unwillingness to admit mistakes to others and themselves. We go through conflicting beliefs and selectively focus on evidence supporting the easier outcome. I really enjoyed the exploration into false memories. Overall a psychology book full of substance and lessons supported by great research and narrative.

## Why I read it

Something I want to continue to improve upon is being able to take responsibility and ownership of a situation more readily. I grew up in a household where there was plenty of blame to go around. For the most part I kept quiet and accepted things, but I want to be able to spoke up while communicating the need from ownership on both sides. I wanted to better understand the psychology behind mistake and cognitive dissonance.

## Reasons to read

1. Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception
2. Learn how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it
3. Better understand how the brain is wired for self-justification and what we can do to overcome it

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