by Juvoni Beckford@juvoni
Before readingWhy I picked it up
Getting Real was a book club selection under the theme of the month, congruency, or to be in agreement. Honest communication is an important topic and value for me that I'm consistently working on cultivating. Living authentically, also drew my curiosity to understand what their measure of authenticity is, as I feel it is a subjective term in some contexts.
After readingPosted
Basic and fundamental principles around honest communication with inspiration from classical philosophies around ego-awareness and detachment. Campell helps the reader develop trust and confidence in themselves to communicate more authentically with awareness around control patterns that hinder vulnerable, deep and authentic connections from being developed. I found the self-assessment questions helpful as well as the end of chapter summaries, but the case studies were drawn out and I felt the book lacked depth and focus.
Three reasons to read it
- Cultivate the skill of honest communication.
- Learn how to take and receive feedback.
- Build awareness around fearful or controlling communication patterns.
Notable quotesSusan Campbell Ph.D.More in Quotes
We communicate with the intent to control rather than with the intent to relate. But until we take a risk and share authentically, nothing real can happen.
It seems that the more you try to get reality to fit within your comfort zone, the more unprepared you are to deal with a world full of surprise, complexity, and change. Likewise, if we persist in trying to get our relationships to conform to our expectations instead of letting them be how they actually are, we may miss important opportunities to know ourselves and others more deeply.
Automatically responding to your worst internal fear is a common control pattern. Your buttons are pushed, and you react. This pattern keeps you in familiar emotional territory, where you don′t have to risk learning anything about yourself.
After you say something, pause and take in the fact that the other is now receiving what you just said.
Notes for this book are still being transcribed.
