The core message of this book is that there are only so much f*cks to give, so be wise about how you distribute them. A wise message that I try to follow, in addition to accepting the realities of who you are, your experiences and how the world is, being realistic about the change you can have on yourself and not worrying and trying to change things outside of your control. The book has a gritty tone, which I like, there is little fluff and bull-shit in this book, Mark gets to the point and is not afraid to call himself out and help us to reflect on our values and potential false beliefs. I especially enjoyed the conversations around how seeking happiness can lead to the opposite effect, the value of suffering, the importance of action and reflections on death.
Motivations to Read
I am someone who cares deeply and broadly, but sometimes too much empathy can be self-destructive and display a lack of self-love. The title is what drew me, even though I've been a long-time fan of Mark Manson.
3 Reasons to Read
- Learning to Action as a principle.
- Managing how much care to allocation to things.
- How to reframe adversity as fuel.
Notable Quotes
“Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.”
“To be happy we need something to solve. Happiness is therefore a form of action.”
"Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience. Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it or silence it, only backfires. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame."
“Don’t just sit there. Do something. The answers will follow.”
“We suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically useful. It is nature’s preferred agent for inspiring change. We have evolved to always live with a certain degree of dissatisfaction and insecurity, because it’s the mildly dissatisfied and insecure creature that’s going to do the most work to innovate and survive.”
Notes for this book are still being transcribed.
