The Truth is a gritty, excessive, raw and vulnerable self-exploration by Strauss and philosophical discourse on sex, love and relationships. The books progresses to be a sort of Anti-Thesis to his other book, The Game, although the early parts of the book reveal the sex hungry aspects of his life, and his trials going through rehab, infidelity and how the relationship wit his mother and childhood system created a trauma, which he unconsciously masks through adventure and intensity.
It's the story of an incomplete man, who is coming to terms that he may have been the villain in his life story, realizing how his actions have impacted the women in his life.
One of the core messages is that if you're not emotionally healthy, no relationship is going to work. Without realizing this, Strauss explores many forms of alternative of relationships to find his 'species'. He chases his fantasies and lives them out, only to find more disappointment. I was able to relate to parts of his struggles and curiosities, while not having to experience the end results myself.
I enjoyed the unraveling of the core issues he needed to face as well as the dialog around, 'freedom'.
Motivations to Read
I skipped reading his other book The Game, because i'm nervous about being exposed to the dark arts. I was hearing that this book was his full circle moment after all the craziness so I was curious to read.
3 Reasons to Read
- A deep dive into attachment theory in practice.
- Anti-pickup artist redemption arc.
- A practical modeling of doing inner work in the context of relationships.
Notable Quotes
“The person who is too smart to love is truly an idiot.”
“In the dance of infatuation, we see others not as they are, but as projections of who we want them to be. And we impose on them all the imaginary criteria we think will fill the void in our hearts.”
“I used to think that a good relationship meant always getting along. But the secret, I realize, is that when one person shuts down or throws a fit, the other needs to stay in the adult ego state. If both people descend to the wounded child or adapted adolescent, that's when all forces of relationship drama and destruction are unleashed.”
“Most people seem to believe that if a relationship doesn't last until death, it's a failure. But the only relationship that's truly a failure is one that lasts longe than it should. The success of a relationship should be measured by it's depth, not by it's length.”
“Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.”
“Many women think that if they put out too quickly, their partner won't respect them. This is not the case. It's not about waiting for a certain quantity of time before having sex, it's about waiting for a certain quality of connection.”
“A healthy relationship is when two individuated adults decide to have a relationship and that becomes a third entity. They nurture the relationship and the relationship nurtures them. But they’re not overly dependent or independent: They are interdependent, which means that they take care of the majority of their needs and wants on their own, but when they can’t, they’re not afraid to ask their partner for help.” She pauses to let it all sink in, then concludes, “Only when our love for someone exceeds our need for them do we have a shot at a genuine relationship together.”
Notes for this book are still being transcribed.
